Can you wipe my butt please?

I’m trying to scrape something together for dinner. I have a headache. It’s Monday.

My 4 year old calls out from the potty…

Aaron: Mama! Do we have an emergency room?
Me: Where?
Aaron: In our house?
Me: No. The emergency room is at the hospital.
Aaron: What if I hurt too bad?
Me: We’ll call an ambulance.
Aaron: Is that 911?
Me: Yes. Aaron- what hurts?
Aaron: If my back hurts I wanted to know where the emergency room was.
Me: What’s wrong with your back?
Aaron: Nothing… I said IF my back hurt.

silence…

Aaron: Can you come help me wipe my butt please?

seriously…