Batman Infographic

I’ve come to the point in motherhood where my children are interested in things that my brain doesn’t want to comprehend. I get the basic super hero plots. I know who’s who in the Marvel world. Now my oldest is going through a Batman phase. Batman is from DC Comics…not Marvel.

I don’t like him.

He’s dark.

His movies are dark.

His video game is dark.

It’s always raining.

It’s always nighttime.

I want him to go away.

The other day I was outwardly expressing my hatred toward this awful super hero when my son decided maybe if he could explain some of the background information I would understand Batman a little better.

I don’t want to understand him.

I DON’T CARE!

Despite my lack of desire to learn he sucked me into a long explanation accompanied by an infographic. Come on mom…follow the visual references I’ve so generously provided….it’s not that difficult.

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Batman Infographic

 

Ok so it went something like this…

Isaiah: There’s a guy named Jim who works at the GCPD (Gotham City Police Department). He has a daughter named Oracle.

Me: Isn’t that the lady from the Matrix?

Isaiah: No. What is the Matrix?

Me: Never mind. Keep going…

Isaiah: Anyway, so one day the Joker shot Oracle. Batman came in and punched Joker. Oracle wasn’t really dead. She made a cloaking device to make two of her.

Me: Do you mean a cloning device?

Isaiah: Yes. The real Oracle was actually in a wheelchair. She didn’t need the wheelchair though.

Me: So why was she in the wheelchair?

Isaiah: I don’t know.

As I am wrapping up this post my five year old, Aaron comes in the room. He sits down beside me eating a red ball of fruit roll up. As he pulls the snack slowly away from his mouth a string of drool is stretched out until it breaks off and lands on his little chin.

Nasty…

Maybe he can help….

Me: Hey Aaron, do you know anything about Oracle in Batman?

Aaron: Yeah.

So I read him the dialogue between Isaiah & I above. I’m hoping he can provide some insight on what the devil is happening with these characters.

Aaron: Isaiah is right. That’s what happened. Oracle didn’t need her wheelchair. She just acted like she needed it so Scarecrow wouldn’t kill her.

Me: Who is Scarecrow…is this Batman or The Wizard of Oz?

Aaron: It’s Batman! He’s another one of the scary bad guys that hates Batman.

Me: Why would Scarecrow NOT come after her just because she was in a wheelchair?

Aaron: Because then Batman would be REEEAAALLLLLYYY mad!!!

In conclusion, I stand firm in my uneducated opinion.

Batman is awful.

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One thought on “Batman Infographic

  1. Pingback: What Do You Think? | Mellix Life

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