Brunch & Paper Towels

Today is a teacher work day. This means I have to work double. I’m working from home while looking after my two kids. Ultimately this is an impossible task.

“I’m hungry”

“Can we play pretend bakery?”

“I don’t want to watch Star Wars!”

“Can I play on your phone?”

Taking a break I drive them down to a local restaurant for brunch. Me and my two children at a sit down restaurant is usually a recipe for disaster. Overall they behaved fairly well with the exception of the “pig” topic.

Isaiah: “I know what bacon is made of. It’s pig.”

Me: “Yep. That’s right.”

Isaiah (loudly): “HEY! AARON, THIS IS PIG! DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS PIG?”

Me: “Isaiah! Lower your voice son. That’s enough!”

Maybe 30 seconds later…

Aaron: “Mama, can I have some of your pig?

On the way home we stopped by Harris Teeter for paper towels. Walking back to one of the last aisles I was distracted by a few sales. We grabbed two 32 oz. Cool Blue Gatorades ($.57/each) and a box of Fruit Loops ($1.97). As I’m pacing back and forth contemplating my paper towel purchase I see Aaron crouched down by the toilet paper. He seemed terribly upset and was looking underneath the shelves. His Cool Blue Gatorade rolled away….

Me: “It’s fine Aaron. We’ll just grab another one on the way to the register.”

Aaron: “But I want my Gatorade!”

His facial expression becomes more pathetic and his big brown eyes peer up at Josh the Harris Teeter employee who happened to walk by at just the right time. He got down on the floor and reached under the shelves to rescue the Cool Blue Gatorade. I thanked him very much and as we headed out of the aisle a gentleman behind me commented on how Josh really went above and beyond today. If Josh only knew how much more work was to be done…

I remembered how nasty my kitchen sink is and decided to grab a pack of green scrubby sponges too. On aisle 9 just before I got to them I hear a loud thud and the rush of liquid. Oh God…NO…Not today! Aaron has a look of horror on his face. In front of him is a broken plastic bottle with Cool Blue Gatorade gushing out onto the floor and underneath the shelves. How? Why? Are you serious? This is not Aaron’s first time spilling things at the store. Let’s take a quick trip down memory lane. Three years ago…

Embarrassed and red faced I took the broken bottle up to the front trying not to make eye contact with Josh who was now helping bag groceries. I found an employee in the self checkout section and explained/apologized for what happened. He said it was absolutely fine. Nothing to worry about. Then he walks straight over to Josh and I’m guessing asked him to clean up the mess. Josh turns around and I immediately wanted to die.

Oh no, I didn’t grab the green scrubby sponges. What an idiot! I have to have them though. I drag the kids quickly back down to aisle 9. I grab the sponges and as we turn around Josh is walking into the aisle with a big yellow caution sign. I awkwardly say something stupid about how he should have just left the Gatorade under the shelf to begin with as we walk by. Why would I say that?

We check out. We pass by the cookies near the exit. Not today folks. Not today.