How To Make A Bagel (7 easy steps)

  1. Cut bagel in half.
  2. Put bagel in toaster for 1-2 minutes. (lightly toast it…be careful not to burn!)
  3. Get cream cheese out of the fridge.
  4. Stare in utter disappointment at the empty container.empty
  5. Rejoice because you’ve lived with these two boys & handsome man of your dreams for so long you’re prepared for moments like this.
  6. Grab the bigger container of cream cheese you bought yesterday as a back up plan & spread on the AWESOMENESS.
  7. Enjoy bagel!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hotdog Baths

20160502_195543.jpgTonight I had a revelation. My five year old thinks he runs this household. Well, at least when daddy isn’t home. It’s just me and him tonight.

  1. I pushed him in a stroller to the grocery store.
  2. I listened to him whine and complain through the entire store.
  3. I let him scan and bag each item in the self-checkout.
  4. I let him pay using 15+ dollar coins…do you have any idea how long it takes a child to put 15 coins into a machine? Too long.
  5. I pushed him home in a stroller while carrying two heavy bags on each wrist…while pretending the stroller was The Woodstock Express. (Carowinds Theme Park)

    OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
    Courtesy of themeparkreview.com
  6. I cooked our dinner. Slack as usual…hotdogs w/ Mac & Cheese.
  7. I accidently put mustard on his hotdog by mistake. He only wanted ketchup.
  8. I quickly tried to clean all of it off.
    1. Used knife to scrape off the majority.
    2. Used paper towel to wipe off the remaining mustard.
    3. Used another paper towel to remove even more mustard from the crevices.
  9. I thought to myself…Why wouldn’t you just rinse it off? Wouldn’t a hotdog bath be easier vs. scrubbing this disgusting piece of meat with paper towels?
  10. I thought to myself… Maybe I could think straight if Dino Squad would shut the heck up. “I’m in…I’m in…in the Dino Squad!” JUST SHUT UP! NO ONE CARES!
  11. I served dinner and he ate it.
  12. I sat down.

Aaron: “Hey mama! You want to build a fort with me.”

So…after our fort I’m going to bed. Ya’ll have a good night 🙂

Random Things In My Fridge

Here is my refrigerator.20160414_204040.jpg The handle is beautifully decorated with a fluffy Christmas blanky. How this appliance has become an extra storage space is something I can’t explain. I’ve previously shared some of the random contents my lovely boys have left behind. In case you missed it here are the links.

Cold Little Socks

A Gorilla’s Funeral

Last night was no different. In the time it took me to make homemade buttercream frosting the blanky was tied to the handle and a surprise was waiting for me on the fridge door.

Poor “Omaha” the reindeer. Aaron said “he needed some cold time”. As always there’s never a dull moment around here 🙂

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“Omaha” the reindeer

Sneaky Mom

20160406_153503.jpgI admit it.

I snuck it under my sweatshirt so they wouldn’t see.

No. I didn’t share.

Yes. It was good.

OMG…I Am An Eggplant :(

Last night I stood in my bathroom in horror. I don’t know when the transformation happened. It just snuck up on me.

How could he not tell me? To protect my feelings?

Where the heck did it come from? I mean I know after two kids and a terrible diet my stomach has grown a bit…

This is different though. This is hip fat. This is backside fat. Oh my goodness…I am an EGGPLANT!

eggplant
Eggplant – fruit or veggie?

This is just unacceptable.

Day 1: I picked myself up out of the produce department this morning and started to kill the ugly purple shape. With an intense playlist in my ears I ran. I ran hard. I stumbled over to the rowing machine and attacked it some more.

I refuse to be a vegetable or a fruit…eggplants are one of those questionable foods 🙂

Valentine’s Day Cakes

A Gorilla’s Funeral

When you live with children you see weird things. I never thought I would walk into a gorilla’s funeral service but apparently the family arranged for it to take place in my bedroom.

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I still don’t know the cause of death but I found him here in his guitar shaped coffin after work tonight.

The Mellix boys have always been wonderful about leaving their stuff in the refrigerator. Maybe they think an exchange is required.

Sure you can have a Capri Sun…just leave your Power Ranger pistol on the eggs and we’ll call it even.

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Never a dull and boring experience with my family 🙂