An Old Story for TBT

I am the only girl in the house. I have my husband, a 6yr old, and a 3 yr old. My boys can drive me absolutely INSANE but at the same time they make me laugh each and every day.

The things my boys say and do are hilarious. The things they make me say and do tend to be more comical though. For example, last week I took them to the fall festival the daycare put together. (Husband was unable to make it due to work) so it was me vs. the two of them.

I lost.

Justin Bieber and “Let it Go” (Frozen) music created an instant migraine upon my arrival. We walked up to two jump castles and I immediately lost control. Both boys threw their shoes off and off they went. Do you think they stayed together? Of course not.

Let me back up about 10-15 mins. My younger son goes to the daycare full time and the older child just comes after school. When I arrived to pick them up I was given a large plastic bag with stickers and my son’s name all over it and somehow I ended up with my older son’s back pack. So back to the jump castles…

I am wearing my son’s backpack and I have both pairs of sneakers in the decorated plastic bag. I “bounce” back and forth between the two children on different jump castles trying to get them to play on the same one.

Eventually the younger son comes off and I put his shoes on. His friend sits down beside him and I end up tying her shoes as well. Then here comes his older brother…”come on! Let’s go play”

He sprints after him and flings off his shoes into the grass!

Trying not to show my frustration I put the sneakers in the bag and look over to see my boys running away from the jump castles. Thank you God!

Do they stay together? Of course not. One is grabbing a water bottle from a large cooler. (I hope these are for everyone) The younger one is over by the carnival games standing in front of a man holding a bright orange candy bowl. I end up holding the bottled water in the back pack after 2 sips from my wonderful child. He runs off after I took it off his hands and I drag myself over to the one getting candy. He has inspected every piece in the bowl but still struggles to make a decision as the line behind him gets longer and longer. “Come on! Just pick a piece and keep it moving” – finally he grabs a lollipop. Does he put it in the bag? Of course not! He stands there and takes 45 seconds to remove the paper and then starts the “I’m going to be a sticky mess in about 3 minutes” process. Lots of spit, sucking noises, crunches, etc.

I yelled for my other son to come see me about 4-5 times as he ran by me with his little friends and I’m becoming more and more frustrated every moment I’m at this festival.

Why did I come? I knew this was going to happen. To make a very long story short we ended up playing the carnival games and found ourselves on a mini fire truck hayride on the way out. Both boys were told they were grounded from “the phones”. What the heck?!?!? They don’t even have a phone or a job. Why do my boys have my iPhone so much? It’s mine. What happened to board games and Legos? They are here in the house and by that I mean all over the house. Little ninja weapons left out for mommy to get hurt with.

I have to get it right with these boys before it’s too late…

Disney Makes Me Cry

the jungle book
Courtesy of t1.gstatic.com

When I became a mother I viewed things much differently. Every male child my son’s age or younger somehow became mine. Well, at least in the movies or on TV. If the character hurt I felt as if it was my own child and it broke my heart. Continue reading

Random Things In My Fridge

Here is my refrigerator.20160414_204040.jpg The handle is beautifully decorated with a fluffy Christmas blanky. How this appliance has become an extra storage space is something I can’t explain. I’ve previously shared some of the random contents my lovely boys have left behind. In case you missed it here are the links.

Cold Little Socks

A Gorilla’s Funeral

Last night was no different. In the time it took me to make homemade buttercream frosting the blanky was tied to the handle and a surprise was waiting for me on the fridge door.

Poor “Omaha” the reindeer. Aaron said “he needed some cold time”. As always there’s never a dull moment around here 🙂

20160414_204145.jpg
“Omaha” the reindeer

7 Reasons Why I Blog

  1. My quotes, stories, pics etc. needed a home.
  2. Maybe someday it will make me money!
  3. I love stats…actually I’m addicted to watching this site grow!
  4. I wanted to learn more about website/blog building.

    learning-latter-image
    Image by wallpaperswala.com
  5. I wanted to learn how to manage social media in an effort to drive traffic to my site.
  6. I wanted to learn about networking.
  7. It’s an outlet. I love to tell stories and I believe there are parents out there that can relate.

Sneaky Mom

20160406_153503.jpgI admit it.

I snuck it under my sweatshirt so they wouldn’t see.

No. I didn’t share.

Yes. It was good.

I Still Hate Alarm Clocks

Earlier this year I shared my utter disgust with alarm clocks. If you missed it click here: I Hate Alarm Clocks. I am not a morning person. I have a serious issue with mornings. I’ve tried some new and creative alarms lately that had potential to serve their purpose but ultimately failed.

  1. I Can’t Wake Up! (Kindle Fire)

This app has the most options but I wasn’t able to use the barcode scanner feature that required me to get out of bed. Once the alarm went off I had to pass a series of tests while the alarm was still going off at a reduced  volume. If I dozed off during any portion the volume was turned up full blast. I discovered that I could do difficult puzzles and intense math and immediately go back to sleep. This next app worked a good bit better.

  1. Walk Me Up (Android)

I programmed it with a 50 step requirement.

6:00Am

Alarm: “Take 50 steps to snooze.”

A lullaby-ish song played on a piano and sounds of birds chirping were in the background.

I swiped the word snooze at the bottom of the screen.

Alarm: “Evil mode enabled. You can’t snooze.”

Me:

More birds were chirping. The piano continued…

This sucks. I grabbed my phone and slid my feet across the floor.

Alarm: “49…48…”

I opened my bedroom door and walked out into the living room. Wearing let’s say…not a whole lot…I was shocked and slightly embarrassed to see my husband sitting on the couch wide awake. He works 3rd shift right now and clearly I forgot about that.

Alarm: “47…46…”

Husband: “New alarm, huh?”

Me: “Grrrrr…”

I shuffled myself across the living room. Into the kitchen. Out of the kitchen. As I made my way into the kids’ bedroom I heard…

Alarm: “Stop shaking. Back to 50 steps to dismiss the alarm.”

Me: “What?!?! No! I’m just walking!”

I focused on making firm, stable steps without “shaking” until I reached 50.

Husband: “You getting in the shower?”

Me: “No.” I curled up next to him on the couch. “I’m setting it to 100 steps at 7AM.”

Husband: “You’re ridiculous.”

Me: “I love you too babe.”

How do you get up in the morning? If you’re an awful morning person like me share this post! If you rise with those awful chirping birds what’s some advice you can offer for those that struggle?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OMG…I Am An Eggplant :(

Last night I stood in my bathroom in horror. I don’t know when the transformation happened. It just snuck up on me.

How could he not tell me? To protect my feelings?

Where the heck did it come from? I mean I know after two kids and a terrible diet my stomach has grown a bit…

This is different though. This is hip fat. This is backside fat. Oh my goodness…I am an EGGPLANT!

eggplant
Eggplant – fruit or veggie?

This is just unacceptable.

Day 1: I picked myself up out of the produce department this morning and started to kill the ugly purple shape. With an intense playlist in my ears I ran. I ran hard. I stumbled over to the rowing machine and attacked it some more.

I refuse to be a vegetable or a fruit…eggplants are one of those questionable foods 🙂

Teleport To The Free Market

He was in a recliner. On one side was a giant stuffed gorilla and a gigantic fluffy dog on the other. He threw them violently to the floor but remained seated.

“This is nice. I like that this seat has cookies and lemonade. Now I have to swim. I’ll have to use my swimming suit.”

He brought the invisible cookie up to his mouth and began to chew the air. After eating the chocolate chip air cookie he crawled out onto the reclined foot rest. His weight pushed down the recliner causing the chair to fling back hitting my wall.

I continued to stare in his direction without saying a word. What is there to say? We were clearly in his fantasy world. It was 10:00 PM.

It’s been 38 minutes…he’s still up. Here’s a recap of what happens in just over 30 minutes.

“Mama, I’ve added more folders on your phone. Now we have room to put more games on there”.

He obviously doesn’t comprehend my lack of available storage space is unrelated to how the app icons are organized.

“How many games are you downloading?”

“10”

“Isn’t that excessive?”

“No.”

“Can I get this one? It’s on sale.”

“For sale as in…free? You know it has to say…F.R.E.E. Do you see those letters?”

“I think so.”

I glance at the phone and see it’s a game you have to get on Amazon Underground.

“No baby. That one isn’t free. It doesn’t even tell you how much it is.”

“Yes it is! You just have to go to the other market.”

“What market?”

“Ugghhhhh… look!” (points to the shopping cart) I’m just going to teleport over there. You’ll see…”

He clicks the link to open the other “market”.

amazon market

“NOOOOOO!! I saw of glimpse of $99 per year and went into flip mode. Seriously?!?!?! Just stop! Get a game out of the cloud that you already have or go to bed!”

He picks a version of Angry Birds in outer space.

“Wake me up when it’s done installing…nope never mind…my game is ready!!”

So…a couple of things we can conclude here:

  • I’m doing a terrible job parenting this evening.
  • I wish my husband was home. 3rd shift nights = mama & Aaron stay up too late
  • Aaron is SUPER smart…maybe too smart 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

14 Places To Hide Dirty Laundry!

I wonder what it’s like to do laundry in a home where all of the dirty clothes are in a designated location. I think it’s called a hamper. Maybe some people are more familiar with the term laundry basket.

Here in my family we like to play a little game called “Hide & Go Seek Laundry To Wash”! Continue reading